Exploreaza. Viseaza. Descopera.

Last weekend I lost someone dear to my heart - an amazing girl with so much life in her, who was stronger, more brilliant, more passionate, and more beautiful than anyone I know.

I wanted to post my eulogy for the whole world to see. I love you, Ioana. You infected me with passion and changed my life for the better.

I met Ioana the first day of my freshman year in a Romanian class at ASU. I met a young Romanian girl who was extremely intelligent and attractive and wise beyond her years. She chain-smoked cigarettes and shared her passions for language, traveling, and math within minutes of meeting me. We immediately bonded after this day, and we had at least one class together every semester for the rest of our time in college.
During my junior year, I interviewed Ioana for a project that I did. She talked fondly about Constanta as a place that feels like a family. But she said one thing that really struck me. She said,

“You know when I first moved here, I learned these words called “Taking for granted” and I had no idea what it meant. I mean not even in Romania, the expression, it’s there, but you don’t really get to see it Every. Day. Of. Your. Life. Here it seems like that is what everything revolves in. You take stuff for granted. Everything. Environment, people, everything.”

Ioana saw people take things for granted on a daily basis. However, she loved life so much that she never took anything for granted, not her education, not her adventures, not her immense love for Andrew. She loved these things so much, and she made everyone around her know how much she loved them. I was never confused about what Ioana deeply desired – she talked and talked and talked about the beauty in life every time I saw her.

Ioana called me last September and said that she wanted me to run a 10 mile trail run with her on November 20th - my 24th birthday. I had never run a race in my life. I had no idea if I could do it. I was across the country in Washington, DC, and she was planning to do the race outside of LA.

I considered it for weeks, hearing her words “Just do it!!!”. I finally decided that it wasn’t going to be possible to fly across the country for a weekend to make it happen. However, I didn’t let that stop me from pursuing a dream that I never thought imaginable. With her inspiration, I found a race closer to me, upped the mileage (half marathon), and signed up.

On my 24th birthday, as I ran across the finish line in Philly, I thought about how I never saw myself ever running more than 3 miles. And I never would have if it weren’t for Ioana calling me up in September and encouraging me to start running.

I only had Ioana in my life for 6 years, but I remember every conversation, every coffee date, every drink we shared, and every Romanian phrase she ever taught me, from “buna dimineata” to “te iubesc?” I remember how she skipped our stats class so many times (and still passed, of course) because she was busy doing a million other things: preparing papers to present, doing work for other classes, learning multiple languages, and working insane hours at the library. Oh, and then there were the crazy adventures she always dreamt up and made happen. Every time I talked to her, she had something new going on, whether it was kayaking, climbing, backpacking, exploring canyons, trekking across glaciers, crossing rivers, or experiencing oceans. I will never forget when she called me up and said, “I started sailing. I’m on the ASU team. I’m going to compete in California, and I am super excited.” I was like, “Really, sailing?! You can do anything, Ioana!!!”

We always talked about going on adventures together. We wanted to visit Romania, South America, and other places. Unfortunately we never had the chance to make these trips reality because she was off doing so many amazing things already!

I remember the last conversation we ever had, last winter when I came home from DC for the first time. I met up with her, she made me a cocktail, and we sat together in her backyard. We reflected on how far we had come since our first day in Romanian class together, and more importantly, we talked about how much further we had to go. She shared with me her stories about math and research and wowed me with her brilliance and motivation as she always did. She shared about her recent trips, her incredible love of the canyon, and her plans for more adventures in the near future. I shared with her my passion for my new job, teaching math to 7th graders. I told her how challenging it was and how much I was learning.

And then she left me with these words: “You are amazing, passionate, and you are doing exactly the right thing. I am so proud of you becoming an amazing math teacher like you always wanted. Keep it up girl…I know one day we will have time for adventures together. But for now, we are both doing what we love and there is nothing better than that.”

And now I think about a million other things that Ioana always told me I could do - dreams I never thought possible. Traveling to more exotic destinations, climbing bigger mountains, taking more classes, learning more Romanian, teaching more children, loving math even more. Ioana has forever inspired me to do what I love, and I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life.

And with that, I’d like to leave you with this poem:

“A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says she is gone.

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large now as when I last saw her. Her diminished size and total loss from my sight is in me, not in her.

And just at that moment, when someone at my side says she is gone, there are others who are watching her coming over their horizon and other voices take up a glad shout – there she comes!”

My best friend Anne Marie gave this moving eulogy at our friend’s funeral today. Ioana, I love you and miss you. The services were beautiful and you have inspired me as you inspired everyone. I know you found the answer to what happens next and you’re already waiting for all of us to catch up!